He has this little laugh.
Its sweet and soft and a little raspy.
Its unique and unforgettable.

Last night, I was in the kitchen wiping down counters and washing away the remnants of Ben's birthday dinner. I listened to giggles and exclamations coming from the living room as a game was played by the rest of my crew, the sounds of family filling up the air with a warm melody. A melody I didn't want to forget. 

And I thought about him. I thought about his little laugh, and the first time I heard it and how it brought a smile to my face and an old familiar feeling to my heart. Hope. 

Its hope that we've leaned into when the days are long and the space and time between us seems too vast. 

I got up this morning and sat on the couch in the quietness of the hour and thought about him across the globe getting ready for bed. I wondered if someone tucked him in, if he knew how loved he was. Today, he turned 5. An entire hand full of birthdays. I prayed that this would be his year. I prayed this was the last birthday he spends in an orphanage. I prayed that this was the last one he spends without a family. I prayed that even if God's plans didn't include us that God's plans would include something even better.

Over the last few months as old feelings of fear have crept in, I've repeated the verse that has been the refrain of my heart for the last 6 years. "Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer. " The verse that tells me what to do. The words that help me stay the course. "Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer." (Romans 12:12)

Today, on his birthday, we ask that you consider helping us bring him home. We are selling these t-shirts with a hope that next year he will celebrate his sixth birthday with a family. We are selling these t-shirts with a hope that every time you wear them you will remember to pray for him. We are selling these t-shirts with a hope for his future and a hope for ours.
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We are hoping and praying that Zane will be here next year; his personality adding a new rhythm and his voice adding a new tune to our home; a new melody for our family. A melody that's unique and unforgettable.

Thank you for always being such a faithful part of our journey. We have been overwhelmed by the support of the saints for the last 6 years. We are so grateful you are cheering us on.

​Thankful List for March:
-a package from the family who hosted Zane... so many wonderful things (our favorite was definitely the book of pictures... it has been looked at so many times), his little clothes made me tear up but I'm so thankful to have them
-passing the 6 year mark in our adoption process... trying to trust God's LONG plan
-very specific home study prayers answered
-Leticia and the amazing way she constantly checks in with me and prays for me (and vents with me)
-several other friends who regularly ask me about our progress with Zane's tardy paper work, their encouragement and  consistency have been such a blessing
-Doley's watching the kids while I met with social worker
-a fun painting party at a church in Henrietta served as an adoption fundraiser
-lots of progress on our end (the current paper trail is wrapping up)
-stuck in progress on the China end  
(On this note, we covet your prayers. There is a very important document in China that we need in order to move forward with Zane's adoption. When we started pursuing his adoption in January we thought it would move forward pretty quickly. With each passing week and month, we have grown more and more discouraged. Other families with children from the same region are in limbo too. You can pray for peace and faith for us, pray for the other families and children waiting, very specifically pray for this paperwork to move forward, and mostly pray for Zane as he waits in an oprhange

-beautiful baby Clara made her entrance into the world!
-Libby's friendship with our neighbor and her classmate, Finn

-Spring Break adventures
-fun with friends, sleepovers, movies, and celebrating Libby's birthday
-friends helping with kids while Ben was gone and I worked
-successful Beach Reach trip for Ben

-Libby is 7! And she was made to feel loved by so many!

-sweet visit with Mimi and Pops
-Kasi--- and how she has practically been a big sister to our children and an extension of our family for the past 7 years. We selfishly hate that she moved but we are proud of her courage and her amazing ability to always land on her feet! We already miss her constant presence in our home, her willingness to serve and love us in so many different ways (who is going to dye my hair now?!), her ability to brighten any room that she is in with her laid back attitude, overwhelming compassion, contagious laughter, and joy over everything big and small. 

-watching our kids serve at Church without Walls