a conversation and a choice

I talked to her amongst the normal chaos that is our house:  the back door slamming as Tucker came in and out, Libby falling and crying over a boo boo.  As I held the phone to my ear, I stirred dinner on the stove, folded piles of laundry on the dinning room table, kissed Libby’s knee, and searched for a Band-Aid.

I listened to her talk, emotions quietly unspoken between her words.

I heard the exhaustion in her voice.
I also heard her joy.

Ashley, one of our college students, is experiencing a summer surrendered to His ministry.  Working among a group of hardened people, in the heat, with ridiculous hours devoted to work, and very few devoted to rest.  She is one of many of our students who have given up much to be serving Him this summer.  Family vacations.  Approval of their parents.  Sleeping in.  Graduating on time.  Graduating early.  Earning money.  Momentous occasions of family and friends. 

We chatted for a little while longer.  And at the end I offered what little I could contribute — my prayer “that His strength would be sufficient”.  I know that it will.

She’s choosing Jesus.
Our students are choosing Jesus.
And I’m challenged by their obedient faith.

My cell phone rattled on the table as I received a text message from her.  It was the last time she would have cell phone service as she left behind her former life.  My best friend from college, Dianna, was about to climb on the plane that would carry her, her husband, and three young kids to Africa.  They sold their house and their cars.  Left behind most of their earthly possessions, their family and friends, and their thriving ministry in Georgia. But part of her text message “at the airport, feeling peaceful” tells me the truth …

She’s choosing Jesus.
They’re choosing Jesus.
And I’m challenged by their obedient faith.

So many people in the “adoption community” challenge me.  We’ve got friends who have two little girls they adopted through the foster care system, one with special needs.  I “met” a woman over email (a friend of Ben’s aunt) who adopted a little girl from Uganda and is now in the process of adopting another little girl from Eastern Europe who is HIV positive.  A former coworker of Ben’s went to Ukraine to adopt two young children and came back with four children over the age of four (and later adopted another child from Ethiopia).  These are just a few families out of many.

They all chose Jesus.  They are all choosing Jesus.  Choosing Him over comfort.  Over what seems easy.  Over what seems logical.  Over what seems normal.

We get questions about our adoption “won’t it be difficult not getting a newborn?” “How can you wait that long?”  “So … the child will be black?”  I try to string some words together to make a coherent response but truthfully the simple answer is:  He is sufficient; we aren't.  He is fearless.  He is peace.  He is patient.  He is Love.  He is compassion.  He is wisdom.  He is why we already love and long for a dark-skinned child who will look nothing like us but will share our name and have our hearts.

I fail at choosing Jesus everyday.  I choose harsh words.  I choose impatience.  I choose pride.  I choose ungratefulness. I choose not to take a stand.  I choose my opinions.  I choose others’ opinions.  I choose my comfort.  I choose my house.  I choose sleep.  I choose the computer.  I choose family.  Mainly, I choose myself.

But He is the best choice.  The choice my heart longs to make.  He is sufficient, better than anything this world has to offer.

And even if it means we never can afford to go on a family vacation or have cable TV, if our lives are often completely disrupted, if we have to give up those earthly things we treasure most, if people stare at us or roll their eyes at our decisions, if we never do what’s normal or expected … I pray that we will still choose Him. 

Redeemer, set my agenda today, orchestrate my steps, alter my decisions.  Let me join those amazing examples you have placed in my life who are actively choosing You.  May my choices be like sweet music to Your ears, an offering to You.  Help me choose Jesus, today.


If you want to read more of the stories of the people I mentioned above, check out these links for blogs and a book.

http://ashleymimsyeah.wordpress.com/
http://cashcrewship.blogspot.com/
www.familyhopelove.com
www.orphanologybook.com/